Almost a year ago, I and 312 of my batch mates were deciding about coming to Oxford. We were spread across different geographies in the world and irrespective of how we arrived at that particular moment in our lives, we were experiencing similar emotions of excitement, nervousness and hope for what the future holds.
In my little universe a year ago, I was deliberating a common yet difficult choice - should I take out a loan for my MBA? Having spent the last four years in the not-for-profit sector in India and with new developments of the Russia-Ukraine war and a likelihood of recession in Europe, the decision weighed heavily on me. I knew it was a choice, my choice, and I wanted to mentally prepare myself for howsoever the future may unfold.
Before we continue in my little universe, I would like to ask you something: have you ever experienced magic in your life? Has anything happened in your little universe that made you ask ‘why me’? I see magic as something that doesn’t make sense.
If you had asked me this question a year ago, I would have probably said, ‘no’. Or I might have remembered this one time when I fell quite sick, unexpectedly, which made me ask, ‘why me?’
But last year while I was evaluating all possible options of funding my MBA, I was scared and frustrated with the financial aspect of it. And then one day it happened; the kind of magic that makes you ask ‘why me?’
One of my mentors from work who had wholeheartedly advocated for me in my admission essays, asked me how I was managing my finances for an MBA. I told her about my plan that included taking a huge loan at a double-digit interest rate. And in a flip second, she changed my life when she suggested that I should cancel my loan and she would be glad to loan me the same amount with zero interest.
Here it was, the closest I have come to experience magic in my life.
A person who had known me through work for less than two years, who lived on the opposite side of the world and had never met me in-person, was willing to take a bet by sponsoring me with an interest-free loan, and without any binding contract!
Of course I asked her why. The answer that I received was plain with no-frills, ‘I trust you. I know you will do good. I don’t care if you continue in not-for-profit or join a bank, do what you want.’ She was passing on a good deed someone had done for her a few decades ago.
Some moments shape who you become, this was one such moment in my little universe.
And while I was coming to grasp what had just happened, another senior colleague expressed her desire to contribute to my MBA finances. Although I politely declined this time, I couldn’t help but wonder at the odds.
After several weeks of asking myself ‘why me?’, I accepted that I don’t know and perhaps nobody knows. I can create stories and explanations to convince myself or someone else ‘why me,' but the truth is uncomfortable and far less exciting - ‘I don’t know’.
What I do know now is that when such magical moments arrive in life, ‘why me?’ doesn’t matter. What matters is what I choose to do with it.
Hope to create magic in the future.
